‘I seek refuge in Your forgiveness from Your punishment, and I seek refuge in Your pleasure from Your annoyance, and I seek Your refuge from Yourself. I cannot praise You as fully as You deserve. You are exactly as You have defined Yourself.’

Staring blankly at the faint majestic moon suspended over the golden spire of an umbrella in the courtyard of Masjid Nabawi….

…changing every second. The tones of the soft powder blue sky gradually deepening and thus the moon shine gradually brightening. Sublime contrasts playing. Affecting everything the eye gazes upon. One glance registers the expectant moon as a shimmery organza, minutes later, molten silver, followed by the subtlest shades of blush. Moment upon moment upon precious moment a gift, a stream of endless gifts,  SubhanAllah SubhanAllah SubhanAllah!

…almost upon us is the gift of Nisful Sha’ban, the annual time when Du’a is answered. The night Allah Ta’ala descends to the nearest heaven at the beginning of sunset, when the sky is painted with a palette from rubies and pearls and the moon is a burnished orb.  Allah Ta’ala says: Is there no one asking forgiveness that I may forgive them? Is there no one asking sustenance that I may grant them sustenance? Is there no one under trial that I may relieve them? Is there not such-and-such, is there not such-and-such, and so forth until until dawn rises.

And everything is apportioned.

And so it was apportioned by Allah Ta’ala that just over one year ago He blessed a very precious soul, with her husband and daughter, to make Hijrah to this Radiant City, just as He apportioned to take her back to him a few days ago.

Inna liLlahi wa inna ilaihi rajeoon.

The vision of her vibrant beauty, the eagerness her heart emitted in her ardent pursuit seeking Deeni knowledge, her devotion to her daughter with special needs, her undying love for the Path Allah Ta’ala had guided her to, all this and more keeps filling my inner gaze. The last time we were together was at a gathering where Shaykh Zulfiqar, may Allah Ta’ala continue to elevate his rank, was talking about the virtues of Madinatun Nabi and said, “to die in Madinah is akin to dying in Jannah”, meaning Insha’Allah that is where she is, Ameen. The family were returning from Makkah having just performed Umrah, so all sins had been cleansed, being taken as a Shaheedah, SubhanAllah.

Blankly staring at the moon as it glides on its set path in one more rotation before announcing the blessed night of Nisful Sha’ban envelopes the Prophet SallAllahu alaihi wasallam’s City, it appears as an illuminated circular piece of shroud that this sister is now adorned in. A stark reminder of how we all will be dressed in such a raiment.  What deeds will be wrapped therein when it is our turn? What gifts will You hide between the folds? Ya Rabb, take Your loved ones as You have so mercifully taken this loved sister.

The eyes glance around…scanning a courtyard of thousands who have been invited to this most Sacred of Places, and I wonder who is ready for that final inevitable visit? What deeds will be concealed in our shrouds?

Tears well, as I know this needy speck is not ready. This sudden death delivers a sharp reminder, along with the promises Allah Ta’ala makes for us in the coming night. His Mercy is never ending, His endless gifts are in every breath, His love for us eternal…how much do we give in return? Are we prepared?

Maybe the young heavily pregnant Turkish girl in the hot pink dress and floral hijab is ready?

Maybe the wrinkled toothless Sudanese sister, with a smile that beams like the moon above is ready?

Maybe the mother pulling her small daughter up by the hair is ready?

Maybe the sister feeding her toddler a date is ready?

Maybe the patient ones having their bags searched in the crowded doorway are ready?

Maybe the one walking barefoot on the hot marble is ready?

Maybe the young girl pushing a wheelchair is ready?

Or maybe the elderly sister in the wheel chair is ready?

Maybe the friend from Karachi I am sitting with is ready?

Maybe the happy little one pretending to take photos with a yellow plastic camera is ready?

Maybe the sister on duty mopping around the water cooler is ready?

Maybe the beautiful recently engaged Egyptian sister beside me telling me she will marry after Ramadhan is ready?

Maybe….maybe…

Maybe you are ready?

Ya Rabb Ya Rabb Ya Rabb

‘I seek refuge in Your forgiveness from Your punishment, and I seek refuge in Your pleasure from Your annoyance, and I seek Your refuge from Yourself. I cannot praise You as fully as You deserve. You are exactly as You have defined Yourself.’

May we be persistent with our begging this Nisful Sha’ban. May hearts be moved to gently mention this beautiful soul Allah Ta’ala has chosen to take back, along with all grieving over her sudden departure, Ameen.

May hearts be open to the endless gifts showering one and all, and may arms be wide open to receive the stream of gifts that Allah Ta’ala is so generously offering on Nisful Sha’ban, Ameen.

Is there no one asking forgiveness that I may forgive them? Is there no one asking forgiveness that I may forgive them? Is there no one asking sustenance that I may grant them sustenance? Is there no one under trial that I may relieve them? Is there not such-and-such, is there not such-and-such, and so forth until until dawn rises.

~*~

Insha’Allah this speck is about to travel to fulfill the Haqq family in Australia have on me. Internet will be sporadic, so posts will be on a when and if basis. The ‘list’ will be a constant companion, with Du’a for one and all being sung wherever the journey leads. Insha’Allah Du’a for a safe return is requested.

All good is from Allah Ta’ala whereas mistakes are from this humble speck. May Allah Ta’ala Bless all readers, bringing you all closer to Him and His Rasul SallAllahu alaihi wasallam.  May He accept our humble efforts and grant us the capacity to be good and do good. Ameen.